There is still one language lacking

In some kind of foul mood, I left work tonight. I’d tell you why, but there’s just too much background and too many complexities to go into it. Besides, if I began complaining about work in this space, you’re not likely to continue reading, are you? But you know, I can’t believe how much emotions can get mixed up — the way a dream that was once distant comes near, and then the moment you can almost touch it, becomes distant once more.
Like so many have before, my resistance wore down, and I gave in to sleep on the subway ride home. My senses came back to me, and my head was on the shoulder of the lady next to me. Embarrassed, I apologized in Japanese. Turns out she didn’t speak Japanese. Or English. But she said, “Columbia, espagnol.” I motioned for her to show me what she was reading, before realizing it was a kind of bible guide in Spanish. I felt my mind and heart recoil, a flash of rage. And as she reached into her bag to give me a pretty, little Jesus Christ card, I felt for a moment the kind of bitterness rise up in me, as if she was just another Christian trying to convert me, and then I relaxed, because I came to her and not her to me. Though we couldn’t communicate at all, this lady gave off a tremendous feeling of love. It was nice to be in her presence. And my mood turned around. And the unrest in my heart dissipated.
And like I said, I came to her, and not her to me. Perhaps, I sensed this love. And if I felt recoil, when realizing I’d crossed paths with a serious Christian in a public place, that’s because I’m often disappointed by the kindness of strangers in a public place. It is always one of three things that speaks to me: a Christian, a homeless person, or an advertisement.
All I’m saying that it’s nice to feel love detached from any ulterior motives. And if you shine, they’ll come to you.
Now, it’s rainy season in Japan, and everyone complains about the weather. But rain doesn’t fall like this in North America. It’s just absolutely the softest rain you’ve ever felt. A descending mist.